Blue Diva, meet CFG

When Zoe was 16 (I had moved out), she asked both parents for a van as a                  Christmas present. Her plan was to live in the Deschutes National Forest. 

I asked what prompted this idea. 

She said it was so she wouldn’t be a burden on either of us. 

If you’ve never felt like you’ve failed as a parent, just have your kid make that statement to you. 

My ex was regularly telling her that they’re broke and will be poverty stricken because Bad Dad left. All while they were living in a million dollar house in a very nice neighborhood, with mortgage payments equal to my tiny apartment’s  rent. Zoe figured she could help reduce costs by living in a van in the woods.

I will never forgive my ex for putting those thoughts of fear into Zoe’s head.

Zoe’s first car was an estate sale PT Cruiser that lasted about two years. She then went thru two old vans that needed lots of duct tape. After the last van rebelled, i said she could have Bernard, my 2009 Subaru hatchback. A great car with relatively low mileage, and a stick shift that she’d have to learn. 

Took her 15 minutes to get the timing down. 

Now 4 Wheeled Bernard (Lagat, IYKYK) is feeling his age. 

I’m on a job in San Francisco. The rental house I found is big enough for two,    just in case she wanted to visit over the summer. My music DJ kid finds a huge 3 day music festival in Golden Gate Park that she and a friend will attend….then Zoe asks if she can live here the entire summer. 

Dad always plans ahead. 

Zoe’s stage name is Fruit Girl. My kid is nothing if not quirky. 

Bernard shows a caution light the week before Zoe comes down. She brings him to the dealer…I ask her to pay and I’ll Venmo her. 

She says the payment will exceed her credit limit and the car will take a week for repairs. 

I thought this was an oil change. 

Yes, with fluids top off. 

And a cracked suspension arm. 

And a head gasket leak. 

And bald tires. 

Five grand. 

Nope. I planned on getting her a car for graduation, and now that transaction will happen a year early. 

I told her about the new car at lunch yesterday. A Subaru Outback with room for her artwork and music gear, the vehicle to launch her into adulthood. 

She burst into tears, said she feels guilty about me spending the money. Says she doesn’t deserve it. 

Gawd. I wonder where she learned that from? 

(He asks as he looks in a mirror at a guy who has told himself the same thing many times)

That kid is gonna break me in half. 

After Zoe calmed down, she told me she had something important to tell me. 

Yikes. Leaving school? Pregnant? No. 

She said she’s quitting pot. She had been using for appetite stimulation (she’s very thin, the consequence of a dysfunctional family breakup), and for emotional escape. And she’s been very open with me about it; 3 years of voluntary therapy at the same time. 

Never been more proud of my kid. It’s been amazing to see the trust rebuilt between us. 

Sent her pix of the car: the color is Cosmic Blue Pearl (how fitting). She named her Blue Diva. 

I could save $200 by going with standard license plates. 

Nope. Kid’s getting custom plates if the letters are available. 

FRT GRL. 

Stunt Artist redeaux

Part 2. The second art show for my girl. 

Same cool cottage as last time, only twice as expensive due to pending graduation. 

Spanky wanted Mexican food. So did I. 

 

Some more prints for my refrigerator. Maybe not the 7’ tall one, though. 

She blew off the afternoon awards ceremony. Bad career move!

Lunch at Sammich. Pastrami for her, Cuban for me. 

We took a walk, and she pointed out the first thing she tagged in Ashland. 

Then the show. My kid didn’t disappoint; she ain’t shy. 

Sorry, no audio….this documentary was on a loop. 

We look pretty good together. 

Her new necklace, courtesy of Aunt Michele. 

A Bloody Bacon and Egg? I just have to….

Buttermilk fried chicken and collards always work. 

Who doesn’t? 

I hit bullseye with the Asian market in Medford.

Best breakfast burrito in town…and the smoothies, too. 

Been a long and incredible year for the Stunt Artist. Lots of ups, some downs. And lots of ups. 

One last picture of campus. Of course, I’m including the track. 

Good trip. 

No, a great trip. 

Zoe’s Launch, Part 2

This weekend was the one month check-in with Spanky. 

We meet in downtown Medford at a street fair. She looks 25 already!

 

You had me at 'Mexican Street Corn.'

We opt for the crushed Doritos, because why not? Gotta say, my version is better (without this garnish). I tell Zoe I'll make them at Thanksgiving, if corn on the cob was still available. Mayo, butter, cotija, sesame seeds, cilantro, chili powder. And dental floss. 

In her dorm room, she shows me some recent assignments....

I think this is how Nike started...

Then she gives me a tour of the art studio, where she inflicts much of her damage...

Last year, she started with abstracts. Now she's developing her eye. 

The art museum has a Basquiat. Ok, I'm biased; his work doesn't seem like a step change above Zoe's. 

His…

Hers…

Couple of campus homies out for a snack. 

A little sumptin' sumptin' I brought back from Mexico...the purse is made entirely of soda can flip tops. A good match for my kid's quirk. 

And the skull bracelet. 

Early morning workout.... a different kind of character than Hayward Field. 

I like it. You have no idea.

Ruby's has excellent smoothies, just sayin'.  

A quick trip to In-n-Out Burger, and I'm off, back to Bend.

Good weekend with my girl. 

Zoe's Launch, Part 1

Zoë’s Launch

Been waiting for this moment since high school began. 

Zoë asked me to drive her to college at Southern Oregon University in Ashland. You should have seen the grin on my face. 

My car is fairly small, and she said we’d be able to fit everything inside. I pulled my ‘Father Knows Best’ card and borrowed a Yakima Skybox from buddy Dave. 

Before…

After…

Sometimes it just takes an engineer…

Goodbye 97703, hello 97520. 

180 miles gone in a flash, we talked the whole time. Then it’s arrival, Shasta Hall.

4 quick trips, and the car is empty. Now it’s time to unpack. 

That canvas above the pillow? Her own creation. Later, I see the artwork below in the student center, and I wonder if someone is already pirating her stuff. 

Some kids didn’t get the ‘no maid service’ memo. 

After a parent meet and greet with the dean, Spanky and I do a bookstore tour. I figure she’s ready to head off on her own, but she stuns me by asking if I’ll go to lunch with her in the dining hall. 

Yes, please. 

And the food is amazing!

Year-round ice rink up the road in Medford. I’m sure she’ll be there often. 

Nom nom nom…

Her mailbox in the middle. I imagine she will accept baked goods. 

Already looks like she owns the place!

Doing what I do best. 

She has a way with words. 

The students waiting for the convocation, my kid shuckin’ and jivin’ with the best of them. 

I’m up in the bleachers waiting for the ceremony to begin, and she sends me this. 

My kid knows what’s important. 

Putting backs on each seats means these folks pay attention to detail….I think Hayward Field copied them. 

You can’t tell, but they are spelling out ‘SOU’ for the school’s 150th anniversary. 

As I’m driving away with a lump in my throat the size of Texas, I realize I forgot to get that final picture with her. For a moment, I continue outbound. Then I realize this is one of those moments you never get back….so, tires squealing and an unauthorized U-Turn later, there’s this…

From here…

To here….19 July 2012 and 19 Sept 2022. 

The aforementioned lump in my throat is composed of 0% sadness and 100% elation. I had been thinking about this day for years; the day my daughter heads out of town and starts living almost entirely on her own terms. The day that I have a big, BIG drink and toast my daughter’s future, as unlimited as the universe. That day was 19 September 2022. 

Can’t wait to see what Zoë does from here on out. Future Vogue editor…..Art Teacher……Fashion Editor…..it all spells ‘Badass Creator of Cool Stuff.’

You go, girl. 

(Oh, there’s this….after her first art class, she calls to tell me that no one else in the class has sold a painting. She sold three after her first art show a year ago for around $800). 

STFB. 

(Stand By). 

Post-script…and I can’t believe I forgot this…..a week before heading down, I mailed a short note to Zoe’s mailbox. I planned on leaving a second note as I departed campus…I wrote that note in my AirBnb room….after the convocation, I looked for the note and could not find it anywhere in my car or luggage. So I wrote a third note, then talked my way into the campus post office to deliver it. Later, I texted my berthing host and asked them to look around the apartment. He found it…..in the driveway with a tire print! He asked if I wanted him to change envelopes before sending it, and of course I said no way!!!

How fitting. 

🤣